Notes on a blog...

While I was at the art festival on Saturday - I had some ideas spring into my head throughout the day. To ensure I did not forget them, I wrote a quick note on my phone...a few days later, I remembered I had done this and here's what I had written:

"Margs at fest...Band playing "Love Machine" song that reminds me of the Heavyweights movie...Gigs"

I don't know how I come up with these things sometimes, but the fact that I wrote 'gigs' honestly just makes me giggle. (I have a tendency to shorten words for no apparent reason other than it makes me laugh).

But, the above statement that may not make sense in short form actually means this:

I am drinking margaritas at the art festival. I got the topper shot in my margarita which is basically the long tube shot filled with tequila and placed into the frozen margarita. It provides an extra little zing. Standing in the afternoon sun and drinking a margarita with coworkers who I do not know very well but with whom I have had a fantastic afternoon. The band is playing oldies but goodies and everybody is having a great time dancing - especially the old couple in front of us. The woman is a little portly, is wearing a black tank top (too small) and black pants and has a belly dancing wrap with gold coins hanging off of it. She was very fluid with her hip movement. And next to her was her husband...hawaiian shirt, jorts (jean shorts), tevas, a visor, and oh yes, a fanny pack. While his wife is in her own world smoking a cigar and twirling her hips, the husband is having way too much fun with his pelvic thrusts.

Then, "Love Machine" starts playing and all I can think of is the movie "Heavyweights". Such a great movie about fat camp - the awkward dance scene that turns into a blast when this song comes on. The counselor in the movie dancing like a maniac and getting all of the other kids into the music. Ahhhh those were the days - that movie was so great when I was a kid....actually, it is still.

The fact that one song could make me think of one movie is what led to the giggles, hence, the gigs. And this turned into my favorite day up to that point in Miami. Standing on the lawn of a festival, a little sun-kissed with burnt shoulders, and a tasty margarita by my side...followed by appetizers and wine with the girls where the truth really starts pouring out. Fluid days like that are the best. No worry about making sure you look good after being outside for the past 10 hours...who cares? When you are having fun it really shouldn't matter how you look. I think I need to do this more often....I think Miami has been good for me.

Disney

I am listening to the Glee Pandora station this morning and "A Whole New World" from Aladdin came on...it made me want to get up from my desk, drive home, and watch one Disney film after the other until I ran out. Too bad all my DVDs are home....sigh...

...and in the back of my mind....

Do you ever wander around a public place full of strange and interesting people and truly think about the situation? You are all here for a similar reason yet, there's a good probability that the things going through your respective heads are so off-kilter that it would seem the only thing you have in common is the place you are standing. These are the kinds of things going through my head when I venture out to a new place. Say, for example, this weekend. I went to the Coconut Grove Art Festival down here in sunny Miami. I met up with some coworkers and ended up having a great time - festivals have this aura about them....the wafting smell of sunscreen, cigarettes, funnel cake and beer. How's that for a combination? The art at this festival was pretty impressive. A lot of it was generic but there were some stand-outs including There was some really interesting art at this festival including some African art that I would have bought in a second if I did not live on a government salary. I'll try to post a picture of it once I figure out how to post pictures.... But I digress, I need to get back to my original idea of people in public places. I was having one of those contemplative days where I look at people and just wonder what they are thinking about. What does this person think of this same piece of art I just stared at for 5 minutes? Do the sharp blues hit them in the same manner? Are they starting at this piece of art thinking about something completely different? There was one artist who used prarie grass as his medium - it was simply beautiful. The colored grass made me think of grassy (not to be misread gassy...) experiences in my life....such as rolling down a hill and getting grass stains on your knees, playing soccer, picking flowers, swimming in a lake and having lake grass tickle my feet and scare the crap out of me, driving across country and being mesmerized by the sea of prarie grass flowing in the wind. Oh what I wouldn't give to be able to jump out of my car and just run, run as fast as I could amongst the strands silently swaying a song of the ages. Memories trigger in an instant and I am constantly amazed at the route they travel... All of these thoughts are brought back to reality by the crepe and nutella stand. I continued on my day, listening to music, looking at art, having a few drinks, and trying to understand the reason that I am right here, right now....

Weeeeekeeeenddd

It's a three-day weekend....don't tell anybody, but I secretly planned my Miami detail around this holiday so I'd have a nice little three-day weekend in the middle of my trip. shhhh. I had planned to take a trip down to Key West but somehow forgot that this is peak season in Florida. Spring breakers yada yada yada, hiking up the hotel rates and ruining my weekend. It didn't cross my mind seeing as though I had been in the middle of winter up in DC. I may still try to make it to the Keys one of the upcoming weekends depending on hotel availability. I want to do a Hemingway tour (so basically drink and write in all the bars he frequented). Sounds fun, no? Who wants to join me? So, seeing as though my plans changed for this weekend...I've had to find some other things with which to occupy my time. There is an Art Festival going on in Coconut Grove that I have heard wonderful things about. I don't really know what I'm in for but art festivals are usually pretty entertaining - food, art, you get the picture....(get it?) Sunday and Monday will probably see me at the beach - the place I have been dying to get to since I arrived in Miami. Work has just gotten in the way....But don't worry, I brought my sunscreen and will do my best not to fry myself the first weekend. I am not even sure if my skin knows what sun is anymore...this is the most pale I've ever been in my entire life and that needs to change SOON. All in all, I'm hoping this weekend will be relaxing. Sleep (sleeeeeepppppp), gym, sun, festivals, beach, naps, music, beers, books, awesomeness, and if I'm really good....maybe even make some new friends!

Yummy in My Tummy

To say that I am obsessed with food is an understatement. I don't just eat when I'm hungry...I have this need to eat something when it sounds good. I do have some restraint but sometimes....I just can't hold back. Thank goodness I like working out... Anyways, I knew I would be able to get some good Mexican food while spending my time in Miami. I had read about the Taqueria el Mexicano on yelp and it had gotten some great reviews. It looked like one of those divey Mexican restaurants that usually boast the best food. And boy were the reviews right. I got myself a vegetarian burrito and chips/salsa (because let's face it, if you are going to do Mexican food, you have to eat chips and salsa). It was delicious. Of course I ate way too much but my tummy could not have been happier to be quite so full. I think I found the Tres Amigos of Miami. Nothing will ever beat Tres but at least I've found a place that will suffice while I'm down here. It's better than any Mexican food I've been able to find in DC - I'll just have to keep searching for the dives. Also, Cuban espresso is ridiculously good - really strong and sweet and probably has enough caffeine to keep me bouncing off the walls until quittin' time.

Lost...

Bored....sad.....lonely.....happy......worried.....confused........lost.....

All by Myself

My Dad always likes to remind me of all the times that I acted like an indignant child. "I do it myself" as I said quite often. Well, last night was another one of those nights... I ventured to a bar by myself for the first time. Somebody had recommended a place called the Burger and Beer Joint - and that was exactly what I needed last night. Maybe a beer more so than the burger, but hey, I took both. I posted up at the bar and ordered myself a Guinness...what else? Then I got to begin the fun dance of where to look, who to talk to, when to laugh, when to look at my phone, when to pretend that I'm interested in the basketball game on TV, when to order food, how much of it to eat....and the list goes on and on. I never realized there would be so much involved in going to a bar by yourself. Then again, maybe it's just me...I'm sure other people go to bars by themselves all the time and have no problem making friends or knowing how to act, but since this was my first attempt, I really had no clue what to do. It turned out alright though - I made friends with the 3 bartenders who rotated...they were probably wondering why I was sitting there all by my lonesome, guzzling Guinnesses with the saddest puppy dog eyes. OH, the burger was amazing by the way. I got the Buck Nekkid burger which was is a burger without the bun, topped with grilled onions - I added jalapeno. And it came with mushroom fries!!! They basically tasted like shrimp tempura, except they were strips of portabello mushrooms. Fantastic and definitely unexpected! This place also has a large selection of ice cream and I saw a few fabulous-looking sundaes glide by the bar. I resisted though - I figured beer and a burger was bad enough without scarfing down some ice cream, and we all know I can eat me some ice cream. Although this night turned out to be pretty fun and I made a few friends at the bar, I have figured out that I have a slight case of social anxiety. It stresses me out to think about walking into a situation in which I know absolutely no-one. Yes, I made it through one night but will I venture out and do it again? I'm not sure....the future is undecided. It's so much easier to stay in a bubble and never go out of your comfort zone, and I know I do that too often. Branching out is good but it takes a lot of building up my nerve to actually do it. All I can say is thank goodness I had my phone and friends who were willing to text me throughout the night. That is one thing I noticed - anybody who was at the bar by themselves was undoubtedly playing on their phone for at least half the time they were there. But to Annie, you are a lifesaver with your hilarious texts that make me laugh and wipe that 'bitch-look' off my face if even for a few seconds. Apparently the sports bar stays open until 5am most nights----ridiculous, but who knows? I might make it back there sometime this weekend because even one familiar face is better than none.

5am

I was exhausted last night when I got home from work - traveling and getting accustomed to a new apartment, new city finally caught up with me. I came home, put on my bathing suit top and sat out on my balcony to catch the final few rays of sunshine in the warm afternoon light. I was asleep within 5 minutes. When I woke up, I was still tired and just wanted to sit and think - the gym was the last thing I wanted to do. So I made a deal with myself that if I didn't gym in the afternoon, I would get up early in the morning to go. My alarm went off at 445am and I was surprisingly awake (normally when I have to wake up that early I am cursing my phone and fighting around in the dark trying to turn off my alarm.) However, I still managed to talk myself out of getting out of bed. Why is it that beds are just so warm in the morning, lulling you back to sleep when you really should stop being lazy and get off your fat ass? Maybe tomorrow will be different. Either way....I'll have to avoid the chocolate cupcakes :-) Also, random side note for this morning....I was happily sipping my delicious Dunkin' Donuts coffee. Brought the cup up to my mouth, took a sip, tilted the cup away and for some reason, the position of my lips caused this weird suction effect....which, in turn, made a little dabble of coffee shoot straight up my right nostril. Weirdest thing ever....I"m sure it will never happen again and I am glad that nobody else was around to see it. I'll be sneezing french vanilla coffee for the rest of the day....

Chocolate for Breakfast

My wonderful Momola got me a card for Valentine's Day that said something to this effect..."Studies show that chocolate and red wine are good for you......I love studies" It was perfect because most people who know me well know that I have a hankering for dark chocolate and red wine. I allow myself the red wine more than I allow the chocolate....should it be the other way around? The reason I am writing about this now is that it's about 8:30am and all I would really like to eat right now is a chocolate cupcake. Possibly even a Black Bottom Cupcake, which are those fabulous delicacies my Momma makes that don't have frosting but still provide you with the proportion of cupcakey goodness. I didn't eat any chocolate on Valentine's Day...not one single piece. That's got to be some sort of record. I think the sweetest thing I had was a piece of pineapple, which was delicious but just doesn't hit the same emotions as chocolate. oh well....we'll see if I can make it through the day without caving for a cupcake, or a donut or any other thing that I absolutely do not need. It's hard to eat well in the airport...so many tempting places to eat. The Cuban food is excellent, even in the airport! Moros rice may be my new favorite thing ever, I'll need to learn how to make it.

Thoughts from last weekend...

It takes a lot of emotional strength to write things down sometimes. I tend to have large gaps in my journals for lack of a better excuse that it is just too painful or just too much work. Or maybe its laziness...

Stress and the impact of everyday life have more of an affect on me than I have given credit. Spiraling out of control until one more minute makes me feel as though the walls will crumble in on me. And then, figuring out house to dust yourself off and start all over again. Rise out of the ashes like a phoenix. I may be far from this point, but at least I am letting the fire burn. I think I am stuck in this constant contemplative conundrum where I know my brain will never fully change even though my moods will remain inconsistent. A constant state of chaos embodied in a struggling soul.

Yet, amidst the fog, we all know that the sun will continue to rise in the east and set in the west. Circumventing the globe in a path that is predictable yet shifting. Perhaps that is a path I need to learn how to follow. Get in a rhythm and learn how to follow it, and not be thrown off course by the cloud cover below. The clouds should be below you...not above...not controlling.

What is that amazing feeling in-flight when sunshine breaks through the window while the clouds sit below? It's elation because you know that right now, the sun is all you have in your future. So, why do the clouds put a damper on what is below? What's the point? I sometimes wonder if we are pre-destined for how we handle the rain...one person's raincloud is another's ray of sunshine?