I have always been wary of bittersweet moments. I have never truly given them enough credit. For as much as I was certain that I was ready to leave Miami at the drop of a hat, the moment came and I found myself wanting to resist. Perhaps it happened too quickly and that’s exactly when that moment hits me and I can only dwell on the opportunities on which I may have missed out.
Let’s face it – I was alone in a new city and I was forced to be there for 30 days. I worked for 20 of them – therefore, 20 of my days were filled up with things to do. Nighttime is a completely different story though. I work during the day and what do I do at night? Workout….eat dinner, watch tv or a movie, read my book, write in my journal. After about a week, that routine gets old pretty fast.
I love to be alone, but when I am forced to be alone by circumstance, it’s a whole new ballgame. Alright, I guess I could have gone out and made new friends and gone to bars and met new people. But I’m sorry, that’s just not me. I am the girl who decides to go out for a quick drink and dinner on a Friday night and end up walking in circles around a shopping center for 15 minutes before deciding on a place that seems the least intimidating. Walk by one restaurant – but it’s too loud and there are too many people already there, turn around. Walk across the street to another restaurant I’ve been to, again, the bar is already too full – I would feel too awkward walking into that situation. So yes, when it comes to making new friends in a strange town, it is not as easy as it may seem.
The one bonus out of all of this is that I have come to the conclusion that I honestly do suffer from social anxiety to the extent that my heart rate accelerates and I start shaking, but that I can put on one hell of a facade.
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