To say that my life has been in a wind turbine lately would be an understatement. It seems that the one constant in my life is inconsistency. If I managed to stay in one place for longer than a year, I might think differently. I've been told that maybe it's a commitment issue and I'll be honest, that's a good possibility. But I'm not sure that's it entirely. Maybe I'm just constantly searching for what I don't know. Too adventury.
Well, with that in mind...I've moved about 20 times since I left the house for college and that's honestly not an exaggeration. This last move, however, has so far put me in a different place. Constantly moving has allowed me to finally settle in. (or at least that's what I'm hoping for - let's not forget that I just moved here).
I am pretty sure that I was scared to move to D.C. when I first made the trek cross-country. Moving in with the parentals was easy for the transition and easy on the bank account, but my life would be completely different at this juncture if I had moved into my own place right away. Oh well...coulda shoulda woulda. I don't regret anything I've done thus far, but I learn from my mistakes and I figure out what I like and dislike.
I disliked my sterile apartment in Ballston - initially I was stoked on it and happy to be on my own...but I need character around me. I need something that needs fixing, or a street-corner I can sit on and people watch. Ballston would be the perfect place to live if I were settled down with a man (ha) or ready to start a family. But since I'm still in my carefree fun ridiculous days, what better way to spend my time in DC than actually IN DC?
And what better place to be than Dupont Circle?? I now live in a gigantic blue house that is surrounded by Embassies. The house has a certain tilt to it...I'm currently sitting in my room and everything feels like it's sliding to the right. (And no, not in the political sense). The stairs wind up ever so tightly as you reach the top floor and creak - some steps louder than others. The balcony - damn straight there's a balcony from my room - can probably only support 2 people at a time. I have been told that the 'bouncy' feeling is all in my head, but I stand my ground and will not let a group of people out there at once. Since this is now my balcony, anything that possibly happens on it is somehow my responsibility and we all know how I handle worrisome matters!
There are ornate decorations all over the house - including oriental cabinets and a mural of an extending staircase with a dog sitting at the bottom landing. I guess the owners wanted to make this house seem like it just goes up and up forever. Which, quite frankly, when moving up 4 flights of stairs it definitely felt like the house went on forever.
So, my point...seeing as though this seemed to ramble as much as my normal posts do....change is good but change takes its toll. Sure, it's nice for me to sit and reflect and imagine all the possibilities I see in my future and what this house and new living situation will mean for me. But that does not discount all the anxiety, fear and frustration that went into getting here. And by 'here', I just mean to the 4th floor....not my current life-state.
With my luck....or desperate need to have change in my life....I'll be booted out of here in 6 months and need to move...yet again! But I'm going to stay hopeful and enjoy my time here regardless. Isn't that what life's all about anyways? Enjoying the moment, carpe diem, no regrets, everybody wang chung tonight.....
I'll depart tonight with the words that got this current thought in motion...
"There is one fault that I must find
With the twentieth century,
And I'll put it in a couple of words:
Too adventury.
What I'd like would be some nice dull monotony,
If anyone's gotony."
- Ogden Nash
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